Helping baby Sleep FAQ
We'll be putting more questions about helping baby sleep up on this page as they come in. Please feel
free to ask your questions. Contact details are on the
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page.
My little daughter is a restless sleeper and won't sleep unless I rock
her, sing to her or go into her room several times a night. Please help! (Anne)
Teaching your baby to go to sleep on her own is one of the best things you
can do for the following reasons:
- It will teach her good sleep habits, something that will last her the
rest of her life
- It will make your life so much easier!
It's important that baby doesn't associate you with going to sleep. If
she does she will have difficulty falling asleep if you aren't there. You may
want to have a night out now and then and leave her with a baby sitter, or you
may be feeling unwell not want to transfer germs or viruses to her.
Have a favourite
toy such as a teddy, a blanket or anything that's not hard or sharp that she can
take to bed with her. This will then become her "security" and will comfort here
when she wakes up at night, helping her to go back to sleep on her own.
Babies do need to feel secure however and if she has plenty of attention
during the day she will be a well adjusted bub. A happy baby is more likely to
settle well at night and cry less during the day as well.
However no matter what you do, there are going to be times when she will have
a restless night. All you can do at these times is to check that there's nothing
else wrong - she's not hungry, wet or uncomfortable, and soothe her the best you
can.
Try not to rush into her every time she starts to whimper, this will send her
the message that you are "on call" and will be a hard habit to break.
The best resource I've found on helping baby sleep is a book called "SleepyTime
Secrets"
download it here
Why is a sleep routine important for babies and how do I implement it?
(Sandy)
A sleep routine works because it provides a sense of security for baby. Sleep
routines address the subconscious mind that it is time to go to sleep. (This
actually works for older children and adults too!)
A sleep routine should be as simple as possible. Basically it's just doing
the same thing every night before bed. This could be bathtime followed by a
story, then a cuddle just before you turn out the lights. This lets baby know
that it's sleep time and they should settle down quite quickly.
For an older child a sleep routine could be, clean teeth, wash face, read
yourself a story, then a kiss goodnight. An adult may put the cat out, check the
doors are locked and clean their teeth before bed.
If these few action are done in the same order and at the same time every
night, it forms a powerful habit. The subconscious mind knows it's time
for rest and sleep naturally follows.
Please visit the
baby-sleep
page for a schedule of sleep times for babies.
I want to try the cry it out method but I can't just leave my baby when
she is upset? (Alex)
This is called the Ferber method and a lot of parents swear by
it. It can be very
effective if done properly. However this doesn't suit
everyone and if you become upset at hearing your baby cry,
this might not be for you. This is only for babies 6 months
or over so please don't try it on younger babies.
Don't feel guilty about not trying it. It's not
the only way to go. Just because this method works for some
parents it doesn't mean it's right for you or your baby. At
the same time don't feel guilty if you do try it.
Sometimes it's the only thing that works for sleep deprived
parents.
Having said all that, the main advantages of the Ferber
method is training your baby to recognize that night time is
for sleeping. Let her know that you are there for her but
your not going to pick her up each time she cries. If your
daughter cries for attention several times a night, the
Ferber Method will let everyone enjoy more sleep. So as I
say don't feel guilty because your daughter is benefiting as
well.
You'll be a better parent when you're not so exhausted.
First make sure she's comfortable and sleepy before you
try this method. Always make sure she's comfortable and
sleepy before you put her down and that she's been fed,
winded and changed. Always be close enough for you to hear
her, but don't sleep in the same room where she can see you.
Ferber method time schedule: For the first day, leave your baby to cry for
five minutes before going into her room. When you go in to comfort her don't
pick her up. Instead you can talk to her for a couple of minutes and give her a
back rub.
Don't go back in there for ten minutes, then return to soothe her again for two
to three minutes. Finally wait fifteen minutes before returning to her. This
might seem like it's forever but it's not. Thereafter wait for fifteen minutes
before you go back into her room. This continues until she falls asleep. On
the second day the intervals are ten minutes, then fifteen minutes. After that
return to her every twenty minutes until she falls asleep on her own. Increase
the times to fifteen minutes, twenty minutes and twenty five minutes on the
third day. By now you may find she'll be falling asleep faster on her own and
you may not have to return as often. Don't let her cry for more than twenty five
minutes though. That's the Ferber method in a nutshell. It's often been
described as short term pain, long term gain. It certainly takes perseverance
but it will work. However if after a week you notice no improvement, check in
with your doctor or gynaecologist. I'm a single mum and I'm tired and run down! Will my baby ever learn to
sleep through the night?
Poor old you, I know what it feels like! Yes of course it will get easier!
You don't say how old your baby is, but I'm guessing he's (she's?) under12
months.
By 6 months some babies are able to get through the night without a feed. If
it's very hot they may still need a drink, so offer water before milk and see if
she will settle down again. At this age they can also recognize that mum or dad
don't disappear completely overnight! This means they have less separation
anxiety.
Babies seldom sleep through the night without waking up at least twice. As
they reach 8 months, they can usually fall asleep again on their own
Some parents think that cutting out naps will mean their babies will sleep
better at night. In fact the reverse is true and you could end up with a very
cranky overtired baby who won't settle at bed time. This will affect their sleep
and feeding routines and may create problems during the day as well.
Just let baby decide when she is tired. Babies can regulate their sleep quite
well at 8 months. If she seems drowsy during the day, put her down for a nap.
Most infants will have one nap in the morning and one in the afternoon. If
your's is a bit different, don't worry. So long as she's alert in the
morning, she's probably getting enough sleep.
Also don't keep rushing in to comfort her as soon as she makes a sound. Wait
and see if she settles herself first. If she starts crying and sounds
distressed, check to make sure there's nothing else wrong before leaving the
room again. Recognise that your needs are important too, if you're not getting
enough rest it could impact on your relationship with your baby. So relax, it
can only get better.
How to cure insomnia

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